Aerodynamic Eyewear

Have you ever wanted to...

• Go fast as fuck?
• Bang your best friend’s dad and get brunch with his mom after?
• Make everyone fear, adore, and high-key worship you?
• Look so fucking swag that the hoa calls the cops?

If you answered “yes” to even one of these — congratulations. You’re legally required to buy these shades. Slip them on and every dream you’ve ever had (and a few you were too afraid to admit) will cum tru.